Disarming Comparison

I had a crazy commute today – it was dark, rainy, and SO slow. I spent a full extra half an hour in my car, which made me late and frustrated and it could easily have felt like so much time was wasted, BUT I’m trying to make the most of my commute time to set the tone for my day.  So, I’m choosing to mentally reframe my very dark, dreary and long commute, and I’m instead considering it “bonus quiet time.” (I know, driving isn’t Sabbath… rush hour traffic, definitely NOT Sabbath! But check out my post on setting the tone on my commute here!)

Today, the bonus time in my car afforded me the opportunity to listen to a full “Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey” podcast. She was interviewing JJ Heller. They had a great discussion covering lots of themes. They talked about JJs music and career, they talked about comparisons, wrestling with and overcoming anxiety and depression and redefining your success metrics (which was very significant for me). It was a great episode – I highly recommend you listen to it and will add a link at the bottom of this post.

Near the beginning of their conversation, there was a brilliant little nugget that I want to intentionally stop and pause and think about. They were talking about our tendency to make comparisons between ourselves and new people we meet, or people we connect with on social media etc. Often, those thoughts are self-critical – our judgements and assessments are often directed internally and can do a number on our own self-identity, confidence and value, which is then reflected in how we live out our relationships.

JJ Heller said something that I think may re-define how I approach all future relationships, and encounters or interactions with people in general. She suggested instead of making assessments, comparisons or judgements about ourselves or others, that we ask ourselves two questions: What can I learn from this person? And, how can I bless this person?

Now, you might argue that this is off topic in a blog about seeking Sabbath, but I would argue that it really isn’t. One of the biggest threats to my search for Sabbath is my tendency toward striving. My tendency towards striving is fed deeply by my propensity toward comparison and always feeling like I come up just a little bit short, a little below standard.

If I can disarm comparison in my life and my relationships, I will move closer to successfully defeating my striving habit, which will move me ahead in my search for Sabbath and my willingness and readiness to rest in Christ.

How can I learn from you? How can I bless you?

That’s going to be what the voice inside my head is asking when we next connect. Listen to the full podcast here.